Gone to soon...

The other morning while viewing my Facebook page, I received some disturbing news. Dr. Zachery Tims, Jr. had passed away in upscale New York the following week. It was a total shock. This man of God was a little younger than me. He was a father of four. He was founder and pastor of a thriving ministry, one that boasted over 8,000 members. He was very instrumental in the Kingdom of God. The ministry that he built with his ex-wife Riva, New Destiny Christian Center served as a major outreach mecca for Orlando and Apopka, Florida as well as surrounding cities. Not to mention, the messages of hope, exhortation and empowerment Dr. Tims ministered as a televangelist that frequently hosted the Praise The Lord nationally and internationally syndicated television show on the Trinity Broadcast Network. This man of God was the epitome of the success one can obtain while walking in the Spirit of God and application of the Word of God.

So many questions… Why was he in New York? What was the cause of death? Was there anyone else with him? A cloud of suspicion, rumors and speculation began to materialize. It is true I had my own questions-not about the cause of death or was there anyone with him- but why God now? He was in the prime of his life, at the peak of the mountain of successful ministry. Then in a still small voice I heard, untimely death.

Untimely is defined as premature, early or unfortunate, in opportune or at the wrong time. It troubled me to know that we can depart this life prematurely. This implies unfinished and unfulfilled promises. It is my belief the choices, decisions, lifestyle and our physical health can cause our early demise. There are adjustments that we must make. Simple instructions we have not followed. For instance, take time to live, laugh and love. Add exercise to our daily regimen. Take a vacation. Learn to remove stress and combat depression. Stop worrying about things we can’t change and change those we can. Those we can’t, God can.

Consequently, we have suffered a great loss in the Kingdom of God but have made great gains. I choose to focus on the impact of Dr. Tims’ life and ministry. Many lives have been empowered because of it and many added to the Kingdom. It is in these times of transition that we reevaluate our lives. Let go of those things that are not conducive to growth. Forgive and forget negative things of the past. Draw closer to God. Touch the lives in our arena of influence and celebrate life.

One Nation Under God

“If I shut up heaven that there be no rain, or if I command the locusts to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people; if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:13-14.

There has been so much discussion over the last decade regarding the relevance of our constitution. Some say it is obsolete and needs to be rewritten. On the other hand, others say only parts need to be updated. There is much that can be said regarding our national foundation. We are a melting pot of culture. I believe because of this we have found ourselves far from the foundation in which this country stands. We have adapted to accommodate those that chose to become US citizens. This adaptation has somewhat polluted our initial intent and framework. It reminds me of a mission statement for a non-profit organization or business. The mission statement serves as a reminder of the direction in which the company flows and stands. If not committed to heart and memory, the suggestions and ideas of others can lead one to territory foreign and contrary to the scope of vision. So is our nation. Foundation is just what it says, framework to be built upon and not done away with. From generation to generation, our country should improve in all areas of life and commerce. The focus of the latter generation should be to take it a dimension higher than the former.

In viewing our nation’s history, we can see that interwoven in the tapestry of life has been our belief and trust in God. ONE NATION UNDER GOD is a significant thread in the fabric of our lives. It speaks of who we owe our allegiance and volumes of the Sovereignty of God. Our belief in our God, the only true and living God, and power of oneness of team are the building blocks of our GREAT nation. Greatness can never be accomplished alone or a part from God. IN GOD WE TRUST is even imprinted on our money and placed in the current or flow of life. It is a constant reminder of who we trust with our money and ultimately the scheme of things.

We have allowed the outside influences of different cultures to slowly steal our heritage. There have been times that I have been bewildered by the freedom that other cultures receive in our country. Nail salons owned and operated by Asian’s, who openly sacrifice and worship their god in their establishments, are without incident. If the Holy Bible is placed in an public place or it’s verses openly displayed, there seems to be a problem or breach of constitutional rights if one brings it to the attention of the governmental authorities.

There is no problem with welcoming others to our country and assisting them in their quest for a better life. But when it begins to erode our heritage I think it’s questionable. Even so, all is not lost. There are ways that we can personally hold fast to the foundation and heritage that was given to us. Acknowledge God in our everyday lives in everything (Proverbs 3:6). Teach our children about Him and His ways (Proverbs 22:6). Be the leader that God has made us in our homes and community. It is through us that His presence is known and He exists to others. It is a true example and spiritual foundation that will continue on from generation to generation if we take the time to share it with others.

The Day of Man

Who are we that God was so mindful of us that He made us a little lower than the angels (Psalms 8:4-5)? It has always been fascinating to me that God thought so highly of us. We can say that we were on the mind of God before He created the heavens and the earth. The earth was created especially for us by Him. We were even given a will, freedom of choice. In giving us a choice, what a choice we had. To choose between eternal life (Tree of Life) and death (Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil) should have been simple. Choose life!!! It seems to me Adam and Eve thought it was too much like right to choose right. We were also given the privilege to name the creatures that were created by God giving us dominion over them and the earth; for what we named we could claim ownership. Truthfully, the earth is the Lord and the fullness thereof and those that dwell therein (Psalms 24:1). But it pleased Him to give us rights and privilege to rule as an extension of Himself in the earth realm. What an honor! Nevertheless, being devoid of the value and benefits of our inheritance with a lack of understanding during miscommunication, we relinquished that right to the enemy of our soul, Satan for a short period of time. Praise God for His infinite plan. He knew us, our weakness and devised a plan for redemption through woman.

There has been much written and much more that can be written about our role on earth. There is much taking place all around us because of sin, our unawareness and utilization of the resurrection power that has been transferred to us through Jesus. The plants and animals we were given to subdue have become the masters. Herbs of the field have become spiritual and social vices. They are being smoked and inhaled bringing addictive behavior and sluggishness of mind. We have become the hunted and not the hunters as animals induce fear and intimidation. Furthermore, the ingestion of the flesh of these animals has brought sickness and disease and in some cases ultimately death.

As I pondered the state of man and our environment, I could see God’s clear and awesome plan for us. We were created for Him by Him to worship Him freely. The Garden of Eden was what we call Utopia; a place of complete balance, harmony and peace. Of note, all is not lost. Jesus came that this balance would be restored and fully manifested in the earth. Everything that was lost has been reestablished by the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. We must take our rightful place as joint-heirs and walk in the dominion we were given at the beginning. We can do it by faith. We can walk it out each day. We can take back our families, marriages, cities and nations one step at a time. We can be proactive rather than retroactive.

How can you walk in dominion? Speak peace, deliverance and victory over and in your home. Speak the promises of God over your family, city and nation. Pray without ceasing and in your prayer call out the names of your governmental officials. They need guidance in their leadership just as you do. Fast with prayer if needed as some kind come out only by prayer and fasting (Mark 9:29). Seek God’s face for every solution. He is always willing to answer, lead and guide you into all truth. After receiving direction, swiftly obey. Take time to communicate and work on your relationships. Teach others what you have learned by experience. It may keep them from great anguish and pain not to mention hell fire. Be the example of integrity, character, love, joy and peace that God made you. Care for others more than you care for yourself. Implement the programs, projects and missions that you were given consistently. It makes for a more productive and balanced environment.

In Sickness and In Health

As you know, I have been meditating on marriage and its true meaning to me. Continuing to meditate on this topic today, I heard the Lord say “In sickness and in health”. Now I know the most obvious understanding for this phrase is that if your spouse becomes physically sick you should be there for them and when they are in health you should do the same. However, there is a deeper meaning that most of us miss. “In sickness” could include mental and spiritual sickness.

Webster defines sickness as an unhealthy condition of body or mind. There are many that wrestle with mental and spiritual illness. I know my Bishop, Herman Bibbs, has stated a couple of times before that we all suffer from some form of mental illness. Mental illness can encompass many things. It could be the way we perceive or view situations and circumstances or our understanding or lack of understanding of life. Often times we have preconceived notions about life and the hand it has dealt us. Most of us have been taught with a margin of error that has been honored by God. Our parents did the best that they could and trained us according to their knowledge; but deliverance comes and with it a greater and true understanding.

As I began to review my background and the background of my husband, I could see similarities of dysfunction (mental and spiritual sickness). Whether you agree with me or not doesn’t matter but I can say of a certainty there was some level of dysfunction in yours too. The need to be loved and the lack of showing love being major ones. It wasn’t that I didn’t know I was loved but there was not much open affection shown in our home. The words, “I Love You” were seldom freely spoken. There wasn’t much hugging, kissing or terms of endearment so as a product of my environment I didn’t show them either. Needless to say, this dysfunction was transferred to my marriage. Now there were some things I didn’t gravitate to that were elements of my environment and I appreciate God for His grace and mercy that I didn’t. As God drew me closer, He made the necessary adjustment and I began to conscientiously show affection. Now you know we are creatures of habit and as we form bad habits we can form good ones. As I began to repeat these actions, they became a part of me.

Most often a lack of self esteem is another contributor to a dysfunctional marriage. As a child you may have considered yourself to be too tall, too short, or have a light or dark complexion. Being the brunt of flagrant jokes can give you a complex or bad outlook of yourself. However, it may have stemmed from words of discouragement from a parent or sibling. These words became constant dark clouds over your head that were fought and even brought a need to prove the incorrectness of the words. There is no need to prove anything to anyone. You were wonderfully made by God and He always sees the best in you.

Another form of dysfunction is morality issues. With the absence of not feeling loved, the need to feel and be loved can lead to seeking love in all the wrong places with all the wrong people (seeing sex as a demonstration of love). The lack of commitment is an activity that indicates this dysfunction exists. How can you be committed if you have never known or seen it in operation?

Balance also plays a role in dysfunction. A lot of marriages are not balanced. The formula for a balanced marriage is God, husband and wife. Most often, there is the absence of relationship with God or it may be one spouse has a relationship with God and the other doesn’t. The marriage begins in a spiritual dry place, a recipe for further dysfunction. In order for the two to become one, God must be present as only He can bring “a meeting” of the minds and hearts.

These were only a few examples of dysfunction. There are so many more; distrust, financial incontinence, insecurity… Even so, you made a vow; UNTIL DEATH DO US PART. Go to God in prayer and ask for His assistance as it is only He that can change YOU and then your spouse.

Difficulties in Life

Difficulties in life will come,
But you promised you’d keep us safe from harm.
The tempest tossing violently from side to side
A down pour of worry a need to in you hide.
Though we struggle to stay afloat
Blessings assured for endurance in overflow.
In the eye of the storm peace so serene
A view of you we have never seen.
Reveal yourself to us in total light
Our sufficiency made clear in your might.
Things so complex we can’t explain
Thankful your love erases the pain.
No, we don’t seek out the difficulties of life
They come to strengthen us for the next fight.
Continue to stretch us out of our comfort zone
To a place predetermined as our own.

Ideology of Marriage: Our Role as a Wife

There has been much written about marriage. It is an amazing institution and should not be entered into lightly as it is considered a sacred union by God. The two becoming one is a phenomenon that’s not often understood. Two individuals with different likes and dislikes coming to a place of agreement is a feat that many never accomplish. Before most marriages reach this plateau, most often the individuals decide to go their separate ways. Some struggle a lifetime to come to this place of oneness and die without receiving the joy that the union could bring.

There are many roles of a woman in marriage; however, the most significant is that of wife and mother. I want to focus on the role of the wife. I have been in deep meditation regarding marriage, its symbolism, true meaning and my role as a wife. Have I had unreasonable expectations? Were my expectations realistic or a fantasy? Have I done all that I could to make it better? Have I done or said things that caused hurt or pain? We have heard many stories of failed marriages. We may have experienced one firsthand as a child growing up in one. The ideas we heard or things we saw were imprinted upon our minds and grew into a mindset of how marriage should be. Now just because we saw and heard it doesn’t mean that it was right. I remember being given a few choice words on what a husband should and should not do and what I should or should not tolerate as a wife. I took those things to heart. There was not much said about what I should do accept cook, clean, care for the children and basically support my husband. In actuality, there was much more I didn’t and still don’t know. I am learning new things every day. As a wife, we hold an important and influential role. We are given to build our home by creating a peaceful, open and loving environment for our husband to thrive and grow. Our home is a place for us to practice our leadership skills and become a skillful manager of our household. Sometimes we may think of our role as a wife devoid of fulfillment and significance. This is not true. Being a wife is a position of honor. Out of all the beautiful, intelligent and resourceful woman in the world, our husband chose us.

As we nurture by nature, we are to nurture our husband and encourage him to be the best that he can be. It so important to remember our role as a wife continues even after having children. We should make time specifically for him and give attention to his fears, anxieties and goals. If he has not set goals, we should assist him in setting and obtaining them. We should never try to make our husband into something we desire him to be but celebrate who God has made him to be. Supporting him doesn’t negate who we are but adds value to who we are and the relationship as we represent each other.

Most often, our role of wife and mother engulfs us and we don’t focus on who God made us to be. I know you say that there is not enough time as managing a household takes more hours than are given in a day. I say that it is a must and not an option. We can accomplish our role as wife without losing our identity. There are God-given attributes within us that we must share with the world. There are projects, programs and community initiatives that need us and our expertise. It is imperative that we know our likes, desires and what is rewarding to us. Embracing our identity only makes a more peaceful and joyous home.

We should continue to schedule time for pampering ourselves and our husbands. There can never be too many romantic dinners, strolls in the park, times holding hands or resting in each other’s arms watching a movie or just talking. It is this continued closeness that helps us remember we were chosen for each other and fight the distance of time.

It is never too late to begin again. You can reignite the fire if you both are willing to try. Maybe you may have to be the one to start the flame, it only takes a spark. Marriage is a work in progress. There will always be room for improvement. Make it your priority to work on and at it. It is well worth the investment.

Some Promises Are Meant To Be Broken

I had this experience recently. I was asked by an individual would it be alright to contact another individual. They were dealing with issues in the past. The last conversation they had with the individual was not a good one and they wanted to make it right. I told them that it was not necessary as the individual had most likely forgotten the incident as it had been over 20 years ago and they probably wouldn’t remember who they were. I even gave a scenario of someone walking up to an individual asking them for forgiveness for disliking them and the individual was unaware of their dislike of them. Being made aware of this dislike, actually did more harm than good. Well days later, in the middle of a conversation, the individual let me know they contacted them anyway. After I asked them why, their response was “I know I told you I wouldn’t do it but I didn’t see the harm”. They went on to say, “Some promises are meant to be broken.” Now I discussed the “I didn’t see the harm” in a previous post but thought “Some promises are meant to be broken” deserved its own post. There is so much that can be discussed in regards to our nonchalance of COVENANT.

Did you know that COVENANT is another word for promise? Webster defines COVENANT as “a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action.” Covenants are used in many different instances; for example, marriage, the purchase of a home, insurance coverage or financial aid. They are legal and binding and there is usually a price or penalty for breaking them. As many of you know, in marriage there are stipulations given for dissolving or breaking the marriage. The main stipulation is infidelity. There is a penalty of alimony (spousal support), child support if there are children and quite a few other allowances. Not to mention, the emotional and spiritual unrest and feeling of loss. You get the point. There is a cost associated with dissolving the marriage.

Contrary to popular belief, covenants are not to be entered into lightly. There should be significant prayer and thought given before entering into or breaking any covenant. I am reminded of the covenant that we were given by God our Father. The covenant through the seed of Abraham that a Savior would one day be born and save the world and mankind from sin. What if He decided to dissolve or break His covenant with us, we would all be lost. There were many instances throughout the history of mankind I am sure and have seen it documented that it grieved Him that we could be so obstinate, downright bull-headed, disrespectful and sinful that even He had second thoughts regarding our creation (Genesis 6:5-7). Yet, He still remembers and honors the covenant and even reminds us every now and then with a rainbow in the sky (Genesis 9).

On this day, make a conscientious effort to rethink covenant and its significance in your life. Never enter into one lightly. Honor it to the best of your God-given ability. It is a big deal.