There has been much written about marriage. It is an amazing institution and should not be entered into lightly as it is considered a sacred union by God. The two becoming one is a phenomenon that’s not often understood. Two individuals with different likes and dislikes coming to a place of agreement is a feat that many never accomplish. Before most marriages reach this plateau, most often the individuals decide to go their separate ways. Some struggle a lifetime to come to this place of oneness and die without receiving the joy that the union could bring.
There are many roles of a woman in marriage; however, the most significant is that of wife and mother. I want to focus on the role of the wife. I have been in deep meditation regarding marriage, its symbolism, true meaning and my role as a wife. Have I had unreasonable expectations? Were my expectations realistic or a fantasy? Have I done all that I could to make it better? Have I done or said things that caused hurt or pain? We have heard many stories of failed marriages. We may have experienced one firsthand as a child growing up in one. The ideas we heard or things we saw were imprinted upon our minds and grew into a mindset of how marriage should be. Now just because we saw and heard it doesn’t mean that it was right. I remember being given a few choice words on what a husband should and should not do and what I should or should not tolerate as a wife. I took those things to heart. There was not much said about what I should do accept cook, clean, care for the children and basically support my husband. In actuality, there was much more I didn’t and still don’t know. I am learning new things every day. As a wife, we hold an important and influential role. We are given to build our home by creating a peaceful, open and loving environment for our husband to thrive and grow. Our home is a place for us to practice our leadership skills and become a skillful manager of our household. Sometimes we may think of our role as a wife devoid of fulfillment and significance. This is not true. Being a wife is a position of honor. Out of all the beautiful, intelligent and resourceful woman in the world, our husband chose us.
As we nurture by nature, we are to nurture our husband and encourage him to be the best that he can be. It so important to remember our role as a wife continues even after having children. We should make time specifically for him and give attention to his fears, anxieties and goals. If he has not set goals, we should assist him in setting and obtaining them. We should never try to make our husband into something we desire him to be but celebrate who God has made him to be. Supporting him doesn’t negate who we are but adds value to who we are and the relationship as we represent each other.
Most often, our role of wife and mother engulfs us and we don’t focus on who God made us to be. I know you say that there is not enough time as managing a household takes more hours than are given in a day. I say that it is a must and not an option. We can accomplish our role as wife without losing our identity. There are God-given attributes within us that we must share with the world. There are projects, programs and community initiatives that need us and our expertise. It is imperative that we know our likes, desires and what is rewarding to us. Embracing our identity only makes a more peaceful and joyous home.
We should continue to schedule time for pampering ourselves and our husbands. There can never be too many romantic dinners, strolls in the park, times holding hands or resting in each other’s arms watching a movie or just talking. It is this continued closeness that helps us remember we were chosen for each other and fight the distance of time.
It is never too late to begin again. You can reignite the fire if you both are willing to try. Maybe you may have to be the one to start the flame, it only takes a spark. Marriage is a work in progress. There will always be room for improvement. Make it your priority to work on and at it. It is well worth the investment.
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